So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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