eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize