C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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