My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You're like the curious george of whores
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
