I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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