At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize