I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
