I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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