i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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