what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
