i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
