i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
