it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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