Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
