Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
