would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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