this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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