Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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