Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
