I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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