it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
