I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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