Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
