At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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