Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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