So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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