We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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