i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I need a beard to bite.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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