chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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