he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
