they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
