We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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