I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
NoShamevember. You game?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
