i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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