The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
