While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
