Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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