Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
