TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
