he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
