im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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