people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You pole danced in your parka.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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