Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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