just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
