my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
