Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
