There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize