So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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