Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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