dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
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I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
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It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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