She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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