I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
