Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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