i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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