Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize