I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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