Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
