Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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