oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
