First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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