Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
