I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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