No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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