i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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