We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
