Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
