tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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